My favorite month....

It's not my favorite month because of valentine's day. I have never really been anti valentine's day though. Even when I was single and very lonely, I still had parents who would buy me awesome stuff on Valentine's, I also sometimes watched kids so couples could go out.

I just love February, It might only be because it the month of my birth, but I still love it!

This year I realized I am over my birthday, see I always use to make a big deal of it, and starting counting down from about August 16th (My half birthday, told you I made a big deal). But this year it was different, I found that I did not care as much about another birthday. Don't get me wrong I still want to celebrate, and get gifts and eat desserts and yummie food, all to pretty much celebrate me! But I just don't care as much, especially about having a party. As I have gotten older people have mostly seemed to only disappoint around birthdays, specifically my husbands and mine. See last February Matt tried to throw me a surprise party, I say tried because I mostly figured it out. My mom has always said its hard to surprise me, so I feel sorry for my husband because I know he tried really hard. Anyways, some of the most important people to me showed up, I don't want to downplay that point. Only one friend showed the rest was family. That was a bit disappointing. I truly did surprise my husband with a birthday party for him in September, he had NO idea what I was up to. Once again I was disappointed, Many people said they would come and only a handful showed up. Again It was important people, and we still had a great time.

All this has led me to the point where I have decided that Birthday Parties are over-rated. I would rather just have dinner with my husband, and my family. If anyone else wants to show up, or take me out, GREAT! But I won't be expecting those things. I don't want this to make people feel bad, or as if they aren't a good friend.  I am realizing what is important and what is not, because I know that if someone does not come to a Birthday Party it doesn't mean I am not important, or unloved. See, I don't want my friends to think that I don't love them or don't care, because I can't make it to events. Life is too short to worry about things that I cannot control. So this month I will let what happens happen. I will enjoy time with the people I love because who knows how long I have left with those people. I will enjoy good things that happen, and I will press through and keep true Joy even in the bad things that might come my way. Because I know this place is not my home, and I have hope there is a better place for us all someday.