Babies.

Where to even start. I think the title says it all. Until I fell in love with my husband, I never Really truly wanted to have a child of my own, when I say of my own, I mean that was created by my husband and I. I know everyone's probably thinking that I haven't even been married that long so what's the big deal. I think its harder when you know there is a much larger possibility of not being able to have a baby then there is of being able to have one. I have Polycystic ovarian syndrome. Which is more common then you would think, even though you may not of heard of it. Basically my ovaries produce lots of small cysts, I don't have periods very often or at all, unless I use medicine to make my body have one. There are other syptoms as well. If your interested you can read about it online. Anyways no period means no ovulating which means no babies, without a miracle, or drugs. I'm not trying to rush having a baby. And I believe if I am suppose to have one I will, its just hard sometimes facing the reality of not being able too, which honestly never seemed to be a big deal to me. I know I haven't been trying and trying for years and gone through every thing possible to man to have a baby with failure. But I understand the pain of knowing that you can't bring life into this world, or a life that is the fruit of a deep love you have for someone that you couldn't imagine living this life without. Just some thoughts from a girl, whose living a learning. I know I have some many things to be thankful for and I don't ever want to take those things for granted. But sometimes the things you don't have or can't have win out over all the things you do.