Thoughts

I had a good talk with my brother last night. He is such a smart young man. I realize how stupid girls are. We tend to let ourselves like these jerky boys, who only use us. They tell us they only want to be our friend and then end up having a relationship with us without it ever being called that. Maybe it's our fault, my fault, for letting it happen. The dumb thing is that there are good, sweet, amazing boys that like us... and we get hung up on these losers who don't want anything more from us. What's even worse, is I find myself knowing that I am worth so much more, but not being able to walk away. I don't really know why either. It's rather frustrating. This is why I believe, at least for myself, that guys and girls were not meant to be friends. Even when I think that someone is no good, and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them, I find myself wanting them to want me, and being jealous when I find out they want someone else. Maybe it is because it just feeds my fear that I am not good enough. Hmmm, I think I answered my own question. I stick around hoping they will change their mind about me, so I can know that I am worth being with. I'm better then that... I deserve to have someone who realizes from the beginning what I'm worth, not someone that has to be convinced overtime. Everyone deserves that. I hope that other people can learn from my mistakes... don't give your heart to someone who doesn't want it, and doesn't deserve to have it. Stick it out and wait for the one who realizes what your worth, and knows that life without you would be incomplete.

Every now and then

I'm not sure if anyone will read this, but I think that I have some insightful things to say sometimes. To be honest As a single young adult I think that there are things that we struggle with that we don't really necessary know how to talk about. For me I think that people won't understand. What I really want out of life is to honor Christ, along the way I often lose sight of what is really important. I start going after what I want, because I get impatient, and think that God has forgotten about me. I really want to believe that if I am trying there is a man out there that is trying too. I do not want to devalue myself and think that I have to just settle.
Read this article about trying patience, it's very insightful http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002283.cfm

Another thing that really frustrates me is the physical side of things. Sex, yeah I know not many people want to talk about it, but its a very real desire that we all have. The bible says its better to get married then to burn with passion... well what if I don't have anyone to marry? As I read that I realize how funny burning with passion sounds. And although, most of us can control ourselves, its still something most want and can't have.... So I search for things to read that will help me. And I read this article this morning that made me look at sex in a whole new way. It really is worth waiting for. It's more than just the pleasure that seems so amazing. I know this is rather blunt, but its a very real issue... and its tiresome... especially as someone who is trying to live an honorable life, the fight to stay pure. I mean really look at what is all around us. Sex is everywhere.... and from the perspective of most even some christian men... if you aren't gonna have sex with them they don't want to be in a relationship with you. I have even read articles questioning if due to todays society, if God really cares if we wait to have sex tell we get married. That as long as you are in a committed relationship and are both in love with each other it should be okay. So don't judge me for talking about this someone needs to.
Sex is not about waiting http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001405.cfm

My next topic would be on relationships with someone of the opposite sex, I know most of us have them and we all long for that type of companionship especially us single folks. So I read things all the time, about opposite sex friendships. When it boils down to it they say that as a man or woman who wants to be married, to continue a friendship with someone of the opposite sex who has already told you they do not want to be more than your friend is stupid. Because you are only wasting your emotions on them. I'm talking about spending excessive time with this person, and having emotional intimacy with them. And the truth, whether anyone wants to admit this or not, is that one of them has feelings for the other, and is hopeful that the one who said they only want to be friends will change their mind. That its better for me to sit at home alone, even though I have no other men pursuing me, then to spend time with this guy that only wants to be my friend. Here's a good little piece to read with more insight on this.
The poison in Just Friends
http://www.boundless.org/2005/answers/a0002023.cfm

So this is just a little taste of things that I have been trying to figure out lately.
Life is hard. Although there is definte beauty in it.
I get to these points where I have to re-evaluate what's really important to me.
Often I start making small exceptions, because I want people to except me, and I think that if I really stand up about things they won't want to be my friend anymore.
Then I realize... that if that is the choice they make they don't really like me for me anyways, So I am better off without them in my life.
More than anything I truly want to please God with my life. To be the woman of God that He has called me to be. I know that God has been speaking to me in my frustration.
I read this scripture last night... and it really spoke to me with all that I have been dealing with.
Romans 5:1-5
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.