How do you really know.....

So many questions in life, that seem to not have an answer. Is there ever a perfect timing? Is there a certain amount of time that one should really wait before taking certain actions? Are there certain things that should happen before you know someone is right for you? Although I think that we should always take precautions in any decisions we make, I also think that you just know. Most of us know when things or people are wrong for us, and we just deny that feeling. We deny that gut instinct to avoid something or someone, and we do it anyways, because for some unexplainable reason, we just want it, and we deny all those feelings and instincts. For me, I am experiencing something much different. I think that I should have these precautions,that there should be signs. Something should be flashing in big bright letters, STOP, TURN AROUND, NOW, DANGER! Is there a reason for this? Do I feel danger? No I feel that where I am is perfect it is all I ever wanted, happening right before my eyes. I believe the reason that I think there should be warning signs is because I think that I don't deserve what I have. Why do I think that, probably just because I wanted it for so long and it never happened. So I felt that it was some kind of punishment. Not that I am even a bad person. I try to live a good life, one that is honorable. Maybe, I just trained my mind for so long, knowing what I wanted, but thinking that it didn't exist. And now it's here, and I love it. I don't live in constant fear that it will leave me, or anything like that. But I do my best to enjoy the present while looking forward to the future.

Which brings me to the second part of my thoughts. How do you not look to the future to much? Is that not what hope is about, having hope for the future, hope that things will get better, or that something you are really wanting will finally happen? Hope is what gets us through the hard times, but what if times aren't hard? What if you are just talking about the future, what you hope might happen. Is that bad? I don't believe it is. I think it is okay to dream, so what if it never really happens. Sometimes its good to just dream of what could be. I can see it becoming unhealthy if you lost sight of what was around you. If you stop enjoying the here and now. But hopes and Dreams are often what help us press forward. I hope to enjoy a long fulfilling life. To grow old with the man that I love. To have children who have children. I don't know that these things will ever happen. However, the though of them is nice, and I don't know what it hurts to hope to experience these things some day.