Don't miss the Beautiful!
- OwlBeHonest
- I love my husband to the moon, And am now called mama by a beautiful blue eyed boy. Life scares me and excites me all at the same time. I like making things, cooking, coffee, sushi, trying new thing and I love being married.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Oh where oh where have my friends gone?
Every time I start to write a status lately, I get half way through it, and decide not to share. Probably because everything I really want to say I don't want to say. Mostly because if I said the one thing that's on my mind, I think I would just get pity empathy from people. I truly love my little family, and enjoy all the time I get to have with my son and husband. But I miss having friends. I don't know if it's just the norm or not, but seems most of my friends disappeared when I got married. Maybe because most of them were still single? Then we had a few couple friends along the way of our marriage but those dissipated after not to long as well. When we were unsuccessfully trying to have a baby and I had multiple miscarriages seemed everyone kept the distance from me as I was trying to keep my distance from everyone. But then I got pregnant, and was actually having a pretty healthy pregnancy minus a cysts on my ovaries. Those went away, and everyone seemed to still stay away. I say all these because I feel like I have tried to reach out to people and spend some quality time with them. But I most get I call you later, or I'll text you and most of those never happen. Or I say we should hang out, and we do, one time. Maybe I am too desperate? It's been told to me that people probably think I don't have time to hang out, since I have Matt to take care of and now a baby. But that's not true, now if someone wanted to hang out with just me, that might be a little tricky. But I have a pretty flexible schedule. Regardless I miss friends. I go periods of forgetting that most of them are busy doing there own thing, because I do stay pretty busy. But then it creeps up on me, and miss it. It might be because most of my adult life was spent surrounded by friends. So now that I spend so little time with them, it honestly makes my heart ache. Problem is, how do i really express this to anyone? I want to say something but I also don't want people to just feel bad for me because "I have no friends" so they reach out. I want people to reach out because they want to be my friend. Because they think I would be an awesome person to be friends with. I'm not saying I'm at no fault here, Im sure I could do more, you can always do more.
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I'm sorry, doll. I know I'm one that's guilty of saying "Soon" then getting caught up with working too much and family drama. I told sprint else the other day that I feel myself neglecting my friends but I just don't know how to fix it. I'm truly sorry that I've made you feel this way. I'll try harder to come see you. Not out of pity, but because you always were a great friend to me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting. I didn't even know anyone actually followed me, since I haven't posted on here in like two years. I wanted people to read it, but not because I told them to. If that makes sense. We actually started going to a new church close to our home. I hope that it will bring along new relationships. I know that most people,especially you,don't put off there friends intentionally. A big part of this seems to be a "sign" that I was in the wrong place. In these last few weeks, I have felt as if a cloud has moved from over my head. :) Thanks for always caring. You are a good friend.
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