Tired.

I can't even tell you all the things I have tried to lose weight, or to help my pcos, which is the reason for my weight in the first place. I had a moment today, I saw something that someone said I should read that they were going to try. And I am just tired. Tired of trying this and that, and nothing ever working. Tired of having to try so hard for anything to work. Just tired of having to try at all really. I start crying this morning talking to my husband. All of this trying is overwhelming, and dissapponiting to. I know everyone says when you stop trying it will happen. I also know that no matter how hard I try or don't try, that its gonna to happen when its suppose to happen. Same with meeting my husband, just when I finally had given up there He was, like a gift. I just don't want to have to do all that I am doing, but I can't just not do anything. All this medicine stuff is confusing. And I read so much stuff, that I don't know whether I am making things up or if they are really happening. Just the thought of having to do all the things I should do to be more aware of my body, drains every ounce out of me. Even though all this wears and eats at me, I still have hope. Somehow.